19 The Future

God is indeed great!

As of late, I've been growing more and more envious of a younger me. Simply listening to one song by Hawk Nelson would put a deep burden on my heart to return to the life of my grade nine year. There was nothing special about grade nine (minus the first week of school when I was somewhat popular, though this was useless). A smell in the air would make my heart ache for sitting at the table, eating with the dear Reed family in the days I lived there years ago. The colour of the sky controlled my life as it plagued my mind with memories of walking Elsa, that beautiful dog in the days of dog-sitting. And somehow I had a pressing on my mind of the childhood interest being Pokemon. I had a yearning to spread my wings and fly, until I realized I was wingless.

Since my childhood, I've felt this yearning to return back in time, or to be somewhere in the past that I believed would have been a better alternative. It has never been as strong before as it has this past day, and even this past week. Minus the first time my mind did this to me, which only seemed large because I didn't know what my mind was doing. Anyways, I wasn't able to do anything today because my mind was so overridden by past events, and though I tried to concentrate on the present, the mind is a hard thing to control, especially with this issue.

I'm not sure how much sense this is making. It just entered my mind that my mind is indeed unique and I'm not sure how many readers will be able to relate, or at least understand what exactly it is that I'm talking about. I am confident that these words I say will not fully be able to explain how exactly I have been feeling as a result of this.

Anyways, I asked God for help. I was so exhausted by my mind and simply wanted out of it. But the thing is... it's a mind. So then I sat down and read 21 chapters in my bible. I stood up a different person that I sat down being. This day, God has answered my long time question of "what's next?" I had plans of going to Briercrest and studying in the Global Studies program. And don't worry (to those who would), this still is the plan. But as far as serving Him, what's next? At this point, after reading these 21 chapters about God's dealings with the chosen people, I spoke deeply with God and felt the passion stirring in me to serve Him by serving others in a way I have been served by someone serving me, thus serving Him. I have made it my purpose to serve Him with my life, and He has shown me clarity.

Where is this going, Tim?

When I was in grade 10, I met my friend and high school mentor, Vinny! I didn't realize until now how much of an influence he was in my life. And God is showing me that the young men in Caronport don't have Vinny anymore. Another group of fortunate souls do enjoy him, but the man who was there for me in that point in my life is not there anymore. And who is going to be going to Briercrest next year? Who by chance will be living in the same dorm he once lived in? Yeah! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not just a copy-cat of a respected friend. I am following God's will and what I feel called to do, which is similar to what a respected friend was also called into. It's either foolish or wise to post this on the internet. It is foolish if nothing comes of it, but it is wise if I am posting it knowing that if it is God's will, then it will come about in time, and I have all my readers to told me to it, but I feel that God is calling me into discipling the youth of Caronport during my years at Briercrest.

I feel so at peace with this, and look forward to giving the youth a mentor relationship I was blessed with having when I was there age. Now I just have to be careful that I don't get so carried away with the future that it does the same as what the past was doing to me.

So about Bolivia, things are going very well. The buses are currently on strike, hence why we stayed home all day today, on a day of which we normally work at Talita Cumi. I'm thankful for the strike. For this one day to be enlightened.

I'm not sure if I've done a good job at pointing out how exciting this is, but for me, it's God inspired and I feel that His hand will be over me in my work that I do for Him here in Bolivia, and back in Caronport.

It's been great getting to know the boys at Ken's house here. I pray that we will be able to bless them and be an encouragment to them to live out their faith. "Walk by faith, and not by sight." Can I have an amen!?

So in closing, things are wonderful here, and God is showing me lots, and it is such a blessing to be able to volunteer at all the places we do so, and help them out while proclaming the Name of our Father in Heaven. Oh, how I am blessed.

A huge thank you to everyone who got me to this point in my life. If you know me personally at all, that includes you. I have been affected by everyone I know and I am thankful that I know you... Probably... No... indeed! You have taught me something just by being you. And the better I know you, the more you have affected me, and you deserve a sincere thank you. So thank you.

Um, time for bed!